Confidence:

a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities

Yeah, I Googled it…

….Because for the longest time I always heard these quotes like “Confidence is Beautiful” or “Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear”… and yeah that sounds all well and good, but what the heck does confidence mean anyways??

Well if you’re anything like me.. I’ve spent a pretty long time thinking that confidence came from how you were perceived by others.

I must be confident because….

“I’m on a great cheerleading team”

“I get good grades”

“I have abs”

Followed by…

“Oh shit… X Y & Z unfollowed me… something must be wrong with me”
Confidence shattered… Delete picture… Reevaluate life.

Anyone else? Thought so..

See… I’ve realized that there’s a big difference between Perceived Confidence and True Confidence

Perceived Confidence: self assurance that arises from other’s opinions of you based on physical things/traits that you possess (examples above).

True Self Confidence: when you KNOW what you’re doing, WHY you’re doing it, and you continue on despite anyone else’s opinion.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m an expert at this… because to be honest, this little epiphany just came to me after a heartfelt conversation with a girlfriend tonight.

I’ve spent so long with this mindset that confidence was built from the outside in..
“If one more person likes my picture I’ll feel confident enough not to delete it”

But in reality, its the complete opposite…

Confidence needs to come from the heart.

Tonight I got a phone call that I truly will never forget. A girlfriend of mine, someone that I look up to as a leader and role model, came to me for help and guidance.  She came to me because she knows what she wants and will do whatever it takes to get there, but more importantly, she had the strength to ask for help.  She has confidence in her goals and in her dreams, and then she put that confidence in me to help make it happen.

(PS.. best feeling in the world)

But the point is…

Sometimes we have to admit that we, in fact, do not have all the answers.
Sometimes we need to admit that to achieve our goals and our dreams, we need to ask for help.
THIS is true self confidence…

And THIS, ladies & gents, is the sexiest thing anyone can wear…

SPARK NOTES:

Confidence is NOT:

– Having the most expensive purse

– Getting the best grade in the class

– Being the thinnest in the room….

Confidence IS:

Knowing that your dreams and your purpose are stronger than any obstacle that you may face…

Decide what you want. Know WHY you want it. Fight for it despite others opinions.